China's Secret Weapon
By Graham Davies

Finally, I have to admit defeat. I now know, for certain, that China will take over the world. This is despite the fact that the country's economy (even now) is smaller than that of the UK, and despite the problems inherent in servicing the needs of an enormous population.

There's nothing we can do to stop the Chinese because they have a bristling armoury of weapons, one of which is absolutely unique. Against its frightening force there is no defence. We're not talking about thermonuclear missiles, enormous military forces, or even the country's staggering cash reserves.

This is a weapon which, incredibly, they are fully able to transport openly, directly and freely into the heart of the capital city of any nation they choose to target. It's particularly effective against women and children, but it also weakens the knees of normally hard men.

It's called the Panda.

Every western nation begs to be subjugated by it, and now it's Taiwan's turn. Admittedly, the Taiwan president has said that the arrival of Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan (so good they named them twice) does not actually mean his defence forces are relaxing their guard.

Frankly, I don't believe him.