Goodbye Palin?
by Graham Davies

Resignation was the only option. You see, it's just so tedious being in charge of a wilderness, especially when its inhabitants are keen on investigating all the little mistakes you make in office. And you you just can't maintain your profile in the national media when your base is 6 hours flying time from the rest of the country.

Alaska is just too small a place for someone of Palin's talent. She has a God-given duty to make herself more readily accessible to the American people. Look at what she's got going for her:

• An ability to tell old jokes again and again. Her variations on the Pitbull theme have been around longer than the animal itself
• The energy to sell cliches as though Oscar Wilde had just thought of them ("Only dead fish go with the flow")
• An unlimited capacity for believing the publicity she reads on her own web-site

She would be wasted in the role of President. With this sort of presentational armoury, she simply must become a Professional Speaker instead.