An Election Debate?
by Graham Davies

A televised pre-election debate between Brown and Cameron would make superb theatre. The Bruiser against the Smoothy. The grizzled Old Dog against the Upstart.

Jusy about everyone who is even remotely involved or interested in Politics would love to see it. Apart, that is, from a very small group: Brown's closest advisers. Because he would lose. Horribly and massively.

Brown is actually a deep thinker. His main weakness is his inability to marry that thought with successful inter-personal skills. He is a manifestly competent set-piece Public Speaker, as long as he (in conjunction with his writers) has had plenty of time to prepare and rehearse. But a head-to-head debate on television will be a contest where speed and simplicity will win out over depth and experience.

Cameron is hugely excited at the prospect of his Eton Debating Society credentials being recognised by the electorate at last. But he should wipe the saliva away, because even Brown isn't daft enough to let it happen.

Barack was boring
by Graham Davies

President Obama's announcement of his plans for the American Healthcare System was the worst presentational performance of his Presidency.

His main narrative speech was competent, but not inspired, by his standards. When he presents straight to a camera, as opposed to catering mainly for the live audience in front of him, he loses alot of his innate warmth. When he is talking to a piece of glass instead of a group of human beings, he becomes a little less human himself.

But his real weakness showed during the Q&A phase after his initial speech. Even though he clearly knew what the first question was going to be, he didn't provide a head-on answer. Instead, the Leader of the Free World simply rambled. On and on. Seemingly without an end in sight.

This pattern was repeated throughout the rest of the event. Ironically, when Obama is speaking to a crowd of 200,000, he can make it sound like conversational dialogue. But when he is answering a difficult question from one person, he indulges in uncomfortable monologue.

Admittedly, healthcare has perhaps been the most insoluble issue for every US President for the last 20 years.

But it is when the issues get tough that tough presenters should get going.

Watson won
by Graham Davies

Stewart Cink went home with the Claret Jug on Sunday night, but the real winner of the Open was Tom Watson. Every man over 40 was shouting for him and now every man over 50 worships him. He has shown that age does not have to be a barrier to achievement. Tom did not turn the clock back. He just made the clock seem irrelevant.

He has become a Giant among men. But Tom's real stature comes, not from the way he swings a club, but from the way he presents himself under pressure. No matter how difficult things were, he projected the sort of dignified calm that we would all like to be able to access when a few million people are watching us.

The real Open loser was Tiger Woods. His petulant thrashing of his clubs was an embarassment and an appalling example for young golfers to follow. He may have won more Majors than Watson, but I would prefer to have Tom at one of my dinner parties.

One of the best ways of assessing someone is to look carefully at how they come across when things are going badly. No-one reading this can hope to win as many golf tournaments as Tiger Woods. But you can aspire to have a personal presentational brand as stylish as that of Tom Watson.

Get Lost, Harman
by Graham Davies

I am proud to be a Northerner. I will always put HP sauce on every piece of red meat that I eat, and I will always be slightly suspicious of people with plummy voices. I regard these attributes as strengths.

Harriet Harman now feels that people like me should be the beneficiaries of Positive Discrimination if we apply for certain types of jobs in the Public Sector. For my interview, perhaps I should remember to bring my whippets and wear my cloth cap. When asked to describe the Conservative Party, I should say that they are a bunch of Southern Bastards (lots of people do that anyway).

On behalf of my fellow grockles in the Provinces, I would like to tell Harman that she can take her discrimination, put it in the appropriate receptacle and then flush.

Sarah is too late
by Graham Davies

The aggressive skills that helped to get Gordon Brown to the top will not necessarily keep him there. He still wins some arguments, but very few friends.

This is where his advisers hope that Sarah Brown just might make a difference. Gordon does not do small talk. He doesn't do medium talk either. He finds it difficult to listen to anyone, including his senior colleagues. Apparently, every meeting with him involves note-taking and point-scoring rather than genuine dialogue.

He does have a sensitive and caring side (remember his speech about Ivan Cameron), but he can't access it automatically. His (shrinking) inner circle hope that her robust charm will help to break down the barriers between the Brownmeister and ordinary mortals. They think that she can be a conversation catalyst.

They are desperately wrong. Every time the public sees Sarah presenting herself in such a charmingly robust, but understated and unselfish way, it only serves to highlight the personal failings of the man she is trying to prop up.

Goodbye Palin?
by Graham Davies

Resignation was the only option. You see, it's just so tedious being in charge of a wilderness, especially when its inhabitants are keen on investigating all the little mistakes you make in office. And you you just can't maintain your profile in the national media when your base is 6 hours flying time from the rest of the country.

Alaska is just too small a place for someone of Palin's talent. She has a God-given duty to make herself more readily accessible to the American people. Look at what she's got going for her:

• An ability to tell old jokes again and again. Her variations on the Pitbull theme have been around longer than the animal itself
• The energy to sell cliches as though Oscar Wilde had just thought of them ("Only dead fish go with the flow")
• An unlimited capacity for believing the publicity she reads on her own web-site

She would be wasted in the role of President. With this sort of presentational armoury, she simply must become a Professional Speaker instead.

Relaxed George
by Graham Davies

George Osborne is facing an investigation into his personal financial conduct. However, he has let it be known that he is "relaxed" about it.

George has always been a relaxed sort of chap, even when he used to spend some of his time drinking at the Bullingdon Club. Many of us would feel less tension if we could rely on family wealth instead of having to make a living. George's relaxation is the type that goes with having a daddy who is very rich indeed.

Mind you, if you decide to got to a party on a Russian yacht with Peter Mandelson, or make a factually inaccurate allegation of misconduct against the Prime Minister, relaxation very quickly becomes ridiculous. Or rather careless.

If you are ever facing a crisis in which your integrity is being called into question, never let the word "relaxed" be the presentational adjective that is used to describe you.

However, George's real problem is not that looks relaxed. A more accurate word would be just plain smug.